Reacting rationally in a conflict is not always easy because circumstances usually add many stressors and nerves to the situation that tend to increase the initial problem, but if you know how to identify the situation and anticipate the reactions that may aggravate it, you will be surprised power you have to improve the situation. Thus, practice the active listening and he will see how you are happier.
Listening will be the key because it is an important part of the dialogue that needs to be reached, and that is the most common problem of any discrepancy: both parties tell their version without listening to the other and interrupt the contrary explanation at the same moment in which an adverse argument or opinion is expressed.
And although it is not easy to listen until the end when we really want to intervene to deny or point out something, it is most necessary to promote healthy communication.
The importance of creating the ideal environment for active listening
This ideal environment must be composed of functional silences, which we should not feel as uncomfortable, as they provide both people with a necessary and refreshing space to reconsider, think and chew the words we have heard.
This will allow us to continue listening or thinking about what we are going to say next and how (also very important) in order to continue the conversation in any case (something that would not be possible if both parties they begin to express their opinions without dialogue as they are situations that usually end abruptly).
So, listen for clues that the other person is giving about what they need and show that you are doing it silently but with your body language, maintaining, for example, eye contact in a natural way or asking questions from time to time. (without interrupting the other person’s story) to show that you are attentive and interested in what they are explaining to you.
By last, remember to stay quiet until the other guy finishes talking and listen if you are thinking about what you are going to say while the other comments on his idea, so if you cannot agree while listening to the opposite opinion.
At least make an effort to internalize and understand it (without having to share it) and do an empathy exercise to understand how the other person must feel.